Pops is the tops

July 1, 2019 | By More

Illustration by Cliff Thomas

Every year, about the time that Mother’s Day and Father’s Day rolls around, I interview about a dozen kids and ask them a few questions about their parents. I have always been fascinated by what their little minds latch on to, their opinions about their moms’ and dads’ habits and tendencies, and what memories stand out the most for them. In honor of Father’s Day, I asked several kids the following questions about their dads. Hilarity ensued.

How old is your dad?
(Most common answer: accurate age of their father)

“I don’t know. Older than me, duh. Wait… could he be younger than me? Can that happen?” – Ben, age 6

“Well I think he is really, really old, like 32, but my mom says he acts like he’s 12. But I think he’s 32. Ask my mom. She’ll know.” – Jordan, age 9

“I don’t know, but he has A LOT of gray hair.” – Claire, age 5

What is your dad’s favorite food?
(Most common answer: Food from his grill)

“Anything my mom doesn’t cook. When she cooks the loud beepy thing goes off and the kitchen smells bad.” – Claire, age 5

“Anything weird!” – Ruby, age 13

“Westy Sizzles.” – Raff, age 10

What is your dad’s favorite drink?
(Most common answer: Beer)

“Monster juice. He gets’em from the gas station, and he says I can’t have any because it will make me go hyper.” – Ben, age 6

“I don’t know what it’s called, but we always have to drive a long way to a place called ‘The Well.’” – Claire, age 5

“He puts lots of green stuff in a blender and drinks it all of the time. So… lettuce water is what it is I guess.” – Sadie, age 7

What is something your dad always says?
(Most common answer: Go ask your mom.)

“Son, I love you.” – Raff, age 10

“He tells me about his childhood all of the time, but Grandma Suzy says that’s not how it was.” – Ruby, age 13

“He says bad words sometimes and he tells me not to tell mom.” – Jordan, age 9

What is something you wish your dad said more often?
(Most common answer: Yes, I will play with you.)

“He says ‘Come on slow poke’ all the time, so I wish he would tell me ‘There’s no rush, take your time’” – Ruby, age 13

“I wish he said no to a lot less things.” – Hayden, age 13

“I wish he sighed less. He sighs ALL THE TIME and mom always says “no one likes a sigher” and she’s right!” – Ben, age 6

What do you think your dad does for fun?
(Most common answer: Mow the lawn)

“Plays video games.” – Raff, age 10

“Plays on his phone and does magic tricks. Oh, and tells ‘Dad jokes’” – Ruby, age 13

“Goes into the bathroom. He’s in there for hours!” – Claire, age 5

Does your dad help out with chores around the house?
(Most common answer: No.)

“Like clean his room? Oh yes. He cleans all the time. He needs to come over to my mom’s house because she’s messy.” – Raff, age 10

“I don’t think so. I think my dad needs a back doctor. My mommy says that when she asks my daddy to do something, he always says his back hurts.” – Claire, age 5

“Yes, he sits on the couch because he says it keeps it from running away. I don’t like that couch. We need a new couch.” – Ben, age 6

Does your dad do anything to embarrass you?
(Most common answer: Yes, when he tries to get things cheaper.)

“Yes! When a boy calls my phone and my dad sees who it is, he will answer it and tell him that I can’t talk because I am having horrible gas and have been in the bathroom for a long time! I don’t have gas! He’s the one that has horrible gas!” – Adrienne, age 15

“Yes, he tells my friends that one of the Kardashian’s died, but he can’t remember their names and usually says ‘Kevin.’” – Laney, age 14

“Yes, when blows his nose it’s so loud! It scares people!” – Sadie, age 7

What is your favorite thing about your dad?
(Most common answer: Everything!)

“He plays video games with me and has cool hair.” – Raff, age 10

“When he lets me ride the lawnmower with him.” – Ben, 6

“When he plays with me for a long time!” – Dragan, 7

Would you trade your dad for a different dad?

Unanimous: “No way!”

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Category: Every Day Life

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