Bigger is Not Always Better

June 1, 2012 | By More

Okay, I just had to ask my husband what year it was, so this could be a very “interesting” column.

I don’t consider myself to be an extremely sentimental person and if you don’t believe me just ask my oldest son. He called last night to tell me that a stray kitten that he had taken in over a month ago had gotten hurt. The surgery to fix this cat’s leg may cost $1,000.

Get ready, because this was not my finest “mom moment.” As soon as I heard $1,000, I said, “You need to put the cat down.”

I know, I know, I should have been more sympathetic to the pain my son and the cat were both in, but like I said, I am not very sentimental, and where I am from we don’t spend $1,000 on a pet. Now, don’t get me wrong. I do think it is sad and I would cry if I had to take the cat to be put down… but $1,000?

Let’s just agree right here that warm and fuzzy I am not. I mean, I don’t even keep all the homemade Christmas ornaments my children have made through the years. And some of the ones I have kept, I put on the backside of the Christmas tree.

Just last week I sold a movie at a garage sale that one of my children had given me as a gift – I will never watch it. Yes, I am that bad.

Given my lack of attachment to some of the traditional sentimental items, I have perplexed myself with a strong attachment to one particular item. Before I get to that item, let’s just stop for a moment and dissect the fact that I can perplex myself

Please, tell me I am not the only one who can, at a moment’s notice, stop and think, “Wow! That is weird” and be thinking about my own current action, statement, or thought. I then will spend five, ten, even a good 15 minutes analyzing why I find that action, statement, or thought so perplexing and what it could possibly mean. I usually never come up with a good answer.

Alright, enough of that and back to my attachment: it is my engagement and wedding ring.

Sure, I know some of you out there are thinking, “Yeah, no duh.” But if you were running around with some of my friends, you would think again. I am NOT making a judgment — I am exploring my strong attachment, given my lack of normal sentimentality.

At my age, I am surrounded by lots of people who have been married 20-plus years. And I have noticed around the 20th anniversary something starts happening — a husband will buy his wife a new engagement and/or wedding ring.

Of course they never get something smaller! As a matter of fact, it is usually something quite larger than the original. Now, I love sparkly jewelry as much as the next girl so why is it that even the thought of trading in my old, little ring makes me sad? I know most of us can now afford a lot more than when we started out, but I just don’t want to give up my original rings.

Why is that? I mean, even my own Granny got a bigger and better ring after she and Papaw got on their feet. (She and Papaw took out the three tiny diamonds and used them in rings for their daughters.)

I have given it a lot of thought, and as I said it perplexes me. Somehow, I have formed this fierce connection to my simple little diamond and band. It takes me back to a simpler time. It takes me back to when we were young and so naïve. It takes me back to a time when I knew it cost him a lot of work and savings to make the purchase. It takes me back to that July 17th day on Clearwater Beach when it was just the two of us and a very important question.

This was the ring he carried around in his pocket all evening waiting for the sun to set. This was the ring he pulled out when he asked me to be the mother of his children. Yes, I know, weird marriage proposal, but it makes the ring that much more endearing. It takes me back to a young man and woman madly in love. How can I give up wearing all those memories and all that history on my hand every day?

Now, mind you, I have told him he is welcome to buy me a lovely piece of jewelry any time he wants, but it cannot be to replace my current rings.

Our 30th anniversary is quickly approaching, and don’t you think emeralds are just beautiful?

 

Share

Category: Every Day Life

Comments are closed.